1 Change diapers quickly or the kid will find the time to piss all over the place
2 My wife has a lot more patience than I do, though I don't think I'm doing bad so far
3 The kid looks like an angel when she sleeps...at 7 pm. At 3:30 am she sounds like a pissed off velociraptor.
4 Family can be your best lifeline for sanity and biggest pain in the ass at the same time.
5 I am astounded how much this kid can eat.
6 Letting your kid push up on your thigh like they're standing will NOT give them bowed legs.
7 I wish babies knew english so she could tell me why she's screaming like I'm beating her with a bat.
8 When this kid starts moving on her own I'm gonna be in a lot of trouble
9 Baby formula tastes like 5 day old dog shit
10 I swear kids from day 1 know how to push buttons in the adults around them
I dread this day.....
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